Change through Love

The world is changing. I remember being a teenager and finding out about the Mayan calendar ending and people thinking it was due to the end of the world. I remember being a little nervous and talking to Derek about it, geez maybe I was 19? He laughed at me for a minute and then we got into a discussion about it. I remember that night deciding that I was going to believe the calendar ended because it was an end in one era. A new beginning. I think it's true. I spent the morning watching Malala Yousafzai's speech to the UN. I was in tears as I watched this girl say the thoughts I've always had. She said in the past women asked men to speak up for them but this time we will do it ourselves. I watch as the world is recognizing racism, recognizing hate and bigotry. Women have a strong hold on compassion. I believe it's because we're allowed to feel our emotions. I tell men (one man) that I love them and just want to see and make them happy and they can't even recognize what emotions that makes them feel. It's like just a tidbit above apathy but not enough to actually care. That's so sad to me. 

I believe that living compassionately is the way to lead a happy life. No one's emotional baggage harms you because you understand why they are the way they are. Suddenly judgement becomes concern and anger becomes sadness. I hear of the horrible things that people do in the world and I think, "What happened? What happened in your life to fill you with so much anger?" It is always something. Why do you think so many veterans come home with psychological scars? Because they're taught to repress, repress, repress. Follow orders, you can't speak up, you have no control whether you stay or go, your life now belongs to your country. When they come home people are proud of them but in the quiet of night they have time to look back they realized that someone else forced them to pull a trigger or send a bomb and people they didn't have any problems with ended up dying. Therapy is for sissies so they drink themselves into oblivion or stop living in reality altogether or they come home and become abusive towards they're families. It's all wrong... 

Things need to change and I think they are. When I tell someone I love them there should be no hesitation in replying because we are all one entity. I gave my nephew a hug yesterday and he fought against it the entire time. I'm a good hugger; he was literally trying to flex out of my hug, haha. I feel when you hug someone you can tell a lot about who they are. Jr recoils when I hug him and usually pries me off as soon as he can. Rudy turns to stone as if comforting touch is actually petrifying. My dad's hugs have evolved. A couple of years ago when I would hug my dad he would give my back a quick pat and then twist and turn and do like a salsa dance out of it, then like a year ago he would stand there tense and give like two back pats. Now it's funny to watch him actually try to give loving hugs. It's like watching a baby horse walk for the first time, it's clumsy and awkward but endearing and cute. Practice makes perfect and I commend anyone who is willing to try. Derek gives good loving hugs when he wants to give them but if you catch him off guard he may run away and tell you to "stop being annoying". His hugs; acceptable. Your hugs; a nuisance. Man! If I had a super power it's definitely be something super gay like being able to hug love into everyone's hearts or spreading kindness and compassion with hugs and kisses. I'm a CareBear... Good to realize this now. Ugh. Quick nap then off to see patients.