Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Upside Down

...For a moment I look at her and see a reflection of myself, a me I so desperately wanted to help and improve. Perhaps it isn't too late...

So in the past month my life has completely gone upside down in mainly positive ways. I am no longer in deep like of a guy who never really deserved me. I am now back in love with the person I was never able to completely let go. Life has a funny way of doing that- bringing people back into your life when you least expect it.

Many times I feel like I have so many eyes on me. So many people are watching my back that I make bad things happen to me just to feel what it's like. I need to make mistakes and learn the right path for myself on my own not the nicely manicured path my family wants for me. People gain strength in heartache and difficulty. They become better people because of it. Reality shows that focus on spoiled rich kids exploit the fact that people who never have real problems become self centered and horrible. If someone has never felt hunger they will never honestly be able to empathize with someone who is starving. So I am grateful for all the times I have had to fall and get up again. As much as everything hurts I am very glad to have gone through it all. I feel stronger and better suited for the world because of it.

I am coming to a point in the summer when the limbo phase of my life might actually be over. Well... depending on whether or not I pass this final exam. I hope I will finally be able to shine above it all and prove mainly to myself that I have actually done it. I am sooooooo ready for a new phase of my life. A happy and sane phase.

"Although both of our eyes are sad we find comfort in the fact that we are looking at each other."

Wish me luck...