Sunday, April 22, 2012

Real argument

Got into an actually argument with Anthony over the phone where he raised his voice and I used bad words. He ended it with, "I'll be right over so we can talk in person." I assured him various times it wasn't necessary but he came over and we talked it out.
"I'm sorry you had to come over so late," I said quietly.
"I'm glad I came over and I'm glad you came to talk to me."
He told me a story about how growing up his parents had a rule about never going to bed angry and he believes that no matter how big a fight or how angry we may get we shouldn't go to bed angry. Never going to bed angry is a philosophy I always wanted to live by. So after a big argument I'm more in love with the kid then I was before... Fauk... He's good...
In other news down a chunk of weight and enjoying being a peds nurse more than ever.
Gee night!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


Life is ever changing and constantly keeping me on my toes but one this it is not is stagnant. The days will keep coming whether you choose to live them or not. I have been doing my absolute best to make my life better and 90 percent of that is having a positive outlook and not hating yourself. People say you should love yourself and yada yada but baby steps. I'm at the not hating myself/ I would be friends with me phase of self love. Honestly self acceptance brings a lot of peace of mind. Realizing I'm far from perfect, I've been hurt a lot and I've made more mistakes than I probably should have and accepting myself for all of that really took away the self loathing. One thing I do best is learn. I am a very good student and life has been the harshest teacher I have ever encountered. It took me a while but I think I'm finally getting it right. They do say the human brain is not entirely developed until age 25. Most of my reasoning skills are finally in place which has allowed me to understand things so much better.
Anthony and I were fantastic for a long time but as graduation is creeping closer he's become so... Well, like me when I was graduating. Hot and cold and sure then confused. Although this has not been the most fun ever like I said I have learned through life lessons. After a not so fun last week we've come out with a better understanding of what each of us wants and needs. Shitty thing about relationships is that sometimes the other person needs you to understand they're being dumb and they don't know why. So I have been super supportive and treating Anthony the way I wish i was treated during my wild and crazy quarter life crisis mood swings. He's a good kid, then again I'm an amazing girlfriend to him.
I hope I can get time off for maybe a trip to Disney or maybe back to PR this summer. We both deserve tons of fun after this stressful winter. I guess that too. I was super depressed and no fun to be around and he stayed right by my side. What kind of person would I be to leave him high and dry when he gets "difficult".
I was talking to Jamie about all this drama and joked that I had called my ex up and we might go out for a date. I thought it was hilarious- seriously, he scolded me for making him nearly have a heart attack and is currently giving me the silent treatment. Yeesh... Men. Haha, I'll send him flowers or something. After nearly 2 years do they still think I'm dumb? You make one monumental mistake... Ha.