He has been a huge part of my life. I am glad to have him back but I desperately fear losing him again... He shared himself with someone else. I don't mean physically I mean emotionally. I allowed her to be part of my life and what has it done? Its only caused me pain and been a constant reminder of all the pain I have felt for the last 6 months. I am ready to move on from this chapter in my life able to accept it but no longer linger on it. I am in love as is he. Love has never felt like it would be enough but now I refuse to let it be anything but otherwise. I am happy. I am hurt. But I can only hope that this pain will falter and we will be left whole once more. I struggle with going with the flow. I want to control everything. But I can't anymore. If I get hurt again who knows if I will survive this time... So I hope for the best and keep my head high and my heart close to his. I never want to allow anyone else into my life and I don't want anyone else filling my place in his heart.
I've never been very good at sharing.