I'm such a girl it's disgusting sometimes. I guess after talking to Christina a few times I've become slightly paranoid that someone better is gonna come along for Anthony as if I'm not good enough. What I've come to realize is that comparing this relationship to my last is not only wrong but there are just 2 people who couldn't be any less alike. The other night I got emotion (surprise?) and confessed all my thoughts. Anthony's response? "listen I'm sorry I don't give you enough reassurance, that's my fault. But just trust when I say things. I love you. I don't know if you and I will be forever but I wanna give it a try." My tears stopped immediately. "you wanna give forever a try?" "yeah, I wanna give us a try." I love how honest I can be. I know he will never hurt me. I worry that we're too young and this won't last but rationally I know he would never want that and I will wait for him to be ready. I guess that's the hardest part of dating someone who is younger or not in the same place as you. The waiting game. I'm ready for marriage. And children well within the next 7 years I hope that happens. But I rush life too often. I'm too impatient and pushy and I don't want to be that way anymore. I can wait.
The next day Anthony surprised me with a lovely day and a beautiful ring. A ring which I didn't have to ask for. The other day he asked what kind of jewelry I liked. I told him I don't wear too much. Just like earrings and rings. I just bought myself new earrings so he took it upon himself to buy me a new ring. He took initiative and just knew me. I love that. Sometimes it all feels too good to be true. But this is my life now. An amazing man, great job and I'm happy with myself. I even started losing weight again. It's like I'm a new person... It feels amazing.