My breath is quickening, my heart is racing I can feel his presence. The evil boogie man is closing in... Trying to pull me under. If he catches me I die... Again.
I've had the pleasure of being a nurse for the past few months. During this time I have watched a girl who has not even started living her life fight for it. We were all hopeful as she got better. When our hope was high that's when we got the news that she wasn't going to make it. I had to stop at Anthony's on my way home. He held me as I cried... The world is full of monsters and this girl who has not even received her first kiss gets the unfortunate news while those who cheat and beat and connive live their lives happily. So I've decided to be happy. To live my life full of wonder and smiles. Everything isn't daisies and sunshine but can't we pretend? I'm tired of feeling scared and scarred. It's time to just let shit go and enjoy whatever time I have left be it 1 or 100 years... My life has turned amazing and I have become so blessed. I will say a prayer for the dying girl and in that prayer I will be thankful that I met her. I am better for having known her. I hope she doesn't die... There is so much joy in pediatrics but when it's sad it's heart shatteringly sad... I will hold my loved ones a little closer and give more hugs and forgive more because in the end I just want to make a positive difference in at least a few peoples lives. "Im glad i got to meet her" is the best thing I could ask for once I'm gone. I'm sure the feeling will be mutual but hopefully not until Im 95 years old :) sweet dreams kids. Back to charting I go!