Thursday, May 10, 2012

Codeine daze

If I were to write a book of my life there would definitely be a chapter about my one week bout with narcotics. It shall be called codeine daze (as in days but... Whatever).
I was in the shower earlier thinking that the chapter I'm in now revolves around coffee and then thought, "well at least it's not codeine" which got me thinking of labeling the chapters my best selling memoir will hold.
I'm exhausted...
Anyway there was a week while I was unemployed when I was like... THE sickest human being alive. Cough medicine with codeine was the only thing that would stop the cough and let me sleep 4 full hours. The codeine comas were enlightening but then one particularly awful day they turned on me. I was paralyzed on the couch unable to find the strength to get up. This was my turning point I think. Not that I was abusing the codeine, no, I was sick and i was using it as prescribed but being that sick and having no one to call was the scariest feeling. I promised if I got better I would lose weight and get my act together. Slowly but surely I have kept up with my end of that bargain.
I really love my job, so glad to be back working as a nurse and especially with children. Hopefully I will be back in school in the fall. And my ass is exercising harder 5days a week than I have ever in my life. Patience is not something I'm good at but for the first time I'm trying to really live in the moment- not in the past or planning for the future.
Right now I am healthy, happy, employed and loved. My boy is graduating and doing well. I feel like things are falling into place, and if they aren't? Well, I've been forced to handle worse. Life has an interesting way of working out. Go figure I just needed to change my perspective.
Gee night y'all I'm effing tired and will need to be back up in the morning for work.

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